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Apr. 21st, 2018

I’m gonna be so sad when bowling is over. It’s so much fun and I love Jenn Andy Ryan and Amanda and it’s legit the only thing I look forward too all week long. I’m sad Jaylin is coming back I wish I was able to stay with them. But I joined their UBA team so I’m excited about that.

Apr. 17th, 2018

I hate all men and I hate the desire I have to have a man in my life. I wish I could be happy and feel satisfied being alone. Because they all fucking suck.

Apr. 15th, 2018

10 weeks of school left

Apr. 9th, 2018

I’m not meant to be in a relationship lol

Apr. 9th, 2018

I just wanna be a different person lol that’s really my problem. I suck.

My spring break is over tomorrow and I literally want to kill myself. I’m not ready to go back to work. I’m not ready to deal with bullshit. I feel so depressed about every aspect of my life. I just want to die.

Apr. 7th, 2018

I like Alex so much. But I am so afraid.

Mar. 29th, 2018

I’m having a bizarre life moment but I’m literally Facebook messaging with James Constantine right now. Idk why but I’ve been thinking about him a lot recently and I even had a convo about him with Sadie the other day and how he was ghost on social media doesn’t have anything and then bam today he makes a Facebook and Instagram and adds me. I was like holy shit that is a sign if I’ve ever seen one, I need to message him.

Mar. 28th, 2018

I literally just want to fucking kill my self. I’m so tired of numbing myself to death to the world around me. I’m so tired of being guarded 24/7. I’m so tired of being a lone wolf. I’m so tired of being so fat and disgusting and worthless. The only thing that gives me a sliver of a sense of worth is my shit ass job that doesn’t even matter. I just want it all to end.

summatives suck. Im so glad its over. and I better get all 3s and 4s on it because they basically said I am trash all year and not being flexible and going above and beyond and this is my chance to prove that I do and if they don't believe me they might as well fucking fire me because I'm over it at this point. I would rather go to a school district where they are about helping their teachers and don't try to actively fuck them over.